


It's Been a Long, Long Time

by sammys_lover



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Gen, Gender-neutral Reader, He cups your face, Holding Hands, I am super touch-starved, Mild Language, Reader is tired, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Short, Short One Shot, This Is STUPID, Touch-Starved, Touching, i almost cried writing this, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:15:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24556762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammys_lover/pseuds/sammys_lover
Summary: You've been alone for years, and you forgot just how nice it is to have human contact -- no matter how little it is
Relationships: Russell (Half-Life) x Reader, Russell (Half-Life)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	It's Been a Long, Long Time

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I wrote this while listening to that song by Kitty Kallen

You’re staring at your computer screen, watching Alyx’s feed as she moved through City 17, into the QZ. 

You decided to stick with Russell and offer Alyx support from over the headset so Russ could take breaks – the both of you worked in shifts, and even took turns during the night watching Alyx’s back, sleeping whenever you could. (Which isn't much -- insomnia's a bitch.)

You’d been alone for a long time. A long, long time before you, Alyx, Mr. Vance, and Russell formed an alliance. Alone for months at a time without seeing another person. 

You can’t remember the last time you were touched. 

Not- not sexually in any way. Just touched. Your hands, your face... 

You sigh a little, your eyes feeling sore and heavy from exhaustion. 

Russell places a cup of- you dunno, something in front of you. It’s warm, you know that much. You take it with a quiet “thank you,” and a smile as he takes a seat beside you, patting your shoulder. 

It sends a jolt and a shiver through you – that- wait, that was the first bit of human contact you’ve had since… since… 

Since you can remember, really. It’s been... months? Maybe years. 

You tear up, and you close your eyes, taking in the feeling of a warm hand on your shoulder before it’s gone, and he’s unwrapping some sort of nutrition bar, his attention on the screen. 

“Alright, how’s she doi- what's the matter?” 

You guess you’d been staring – you hadn’t meant to! You just- it was so nice. Human contact. 

“Oh no, what- that's wrong?” 

You shake your head, clearing your throat as you return your focus to Alyx’s camera feed. 

“Nothing- ah, nothing’s wrong. She’s about to head into some tunnels, and we might end up losing her signal – not a big deal.” You sniffle, picking up your cup of something, taking a few quick sips, internally scolding yourself over getting so emotional. God, what was your problem?? It’s not like you’re not used to being alone for so long, but you just- you forgot how nice it was to have someone’s hand on your shoulder – even if it was only for a moment. 

“Y/n,” He starts, waving his hand in front of your face to get your attention – you had been staring off into space. Whoops. “Listen, I know the whole ‘Eli getting his brain sucked out’ thing is scary, bu-” 

“It’s not that,” You set your cup down after taking a quick sip, bringing yourself to look at him. “It’s just- look, this is gonna sound weird, but you touched my shoulder and I haven’t t-” you choke on your own words as you quietly admit, “Touched another person in... months. It’s just nice. To have contact.” 

He looks at you for a long moment, at a little bit of a loss for words before he does something you really don’t expect. He gives you a soft understanding smile, taking off the gloves he was wearing completely. “I get it- well, I mean, I’ve had Alyx and Eli around so I uh, I don’t really get it, but I’m sure it was hard, being on your own for so long.” He holds out his hand, and you look, wide-eyed, from his hand to his face. 

He seems serious enough, and you... hesitantly put his hand in yours. Then you move to hold it with both hands, tears brought back to your eyes. 

He was here – really here. He was warm and real and alive- 

You laugh, but it’s something of a broken sound – you don’t think about it much, you just close your eyes, holding his hand softly in yours. Your eyes burn with relief after being open for so long. Being awake for too long. 

“Jeez, Y/n...” He moves his other hand – and you open your eyes to see that his other ungloved hand has risen to very, very gently cup your cheek, his thumb resting just beneath your eye. You lean into his hand, closing your eyes again. 

“You look awful- when's the last time you got some actual sleep?” 

You huff a bitter laugh, your brows knitting as you struggling not to completely break down in tears when he thumb begins to gently stoke just under your eye – over the dark, almost purple bags there. Your eyes feel puffy and sore and the warmth from his contact is such a welcome relief. 

“Thanks for makin’ a girl feel special.” Your sarcasm has no ill intent behind it, and he knows that. He just continues to move his thumb. “It’s been a while, I think.” You sound more... broken than you’d meant to. 

He moves his hand that was in yours, and you let him go – as much as you wanted to keep holding on. But his hand that wasn’t occupied rises too, mimicking his other, cupping your face, his thumb stroking under your eye. 

You melt into his touch, leaning towards him, your hands limp in your lap. It was so nice to feel like you’re not alone. You hadn’t realized how cold you felt until he touched you – and you shudder, sighing quietly. 

“...I’ll take over. You get some rest.” 

You nod, slowly opening your eyes as he pulled his hands away from your face, brushing back your hair to take the mic and equipment he needed to talk to Alyx. You let him, watching him with wide eyes. 

After he has everything in place, he greets Alyx cheerily, moving papers and other little things from the desk in front of you, setting it on the floor to the side, patting the now almost clear surface gently before moving to take your hand again. 

You fold your arm across the desk, leaning down and resting your head, still holding his hand, listening to him talk about club sandwiches until you eventually manage to fall asleep, his thumb stroking your knuckles. 

You feel grounded. 

You sleep well.


End file.
